I made this recipe a few weeks back, but I was traveling and then sick and then it was Christmas so I'm just now posting it. In fact, I'm composing this entry from the confines of my bed, and it's noon, as I'm still not feeling too terrific! I wish someone would come and bring me soup and a grilled cheese sandwich...



Ross had what started out as a very simple craving the other day- tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. Since I was feeling particularly ambitious, it turned into homemade roasted tomato soup and grilled sandwiches with cheese, bacon, and avocado- a simple, satisfying and homey dinner for a chilly night. (Note: the bacon avocado cheese sandwiches were consumed too quickly for a photo op, so this picture depicts round 2, with a plain grilled cheese sandwich.) I roasted tomatoes to add flavor and steered clear of cream to try to counteract the perceived health repercussions of the bacon-cheese action. The balsamic vinegar adds roundness in its stead.


Roasted Tomato Soup

Ingredients:

• 2 medium tomatoes
• 1 leek, white and light green parts chopped finely
• 1 medium onion, chopped finely
• couple large sprigs of thyme
• one cup tomato puree, canned or fresh
• one 28 ox can diced tomatoes
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 2 Tblsp balsamic vinegar
• olive oil
• salt and pepper

Method:

• Heat oven to 400. Put a piece of foil on a cookie sheet or sheet pan.
• Cut tomatoes in ½ inch slices. Lay out in one layer on foil. Drizzle with about 1 Tblsp olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
• Put in oven for 15 minutes. Flip and cook another 15 minutes. Remove from oven.
• Meanwhile, heat about 1 Tblsp olive oil in a large pot over medium heat.
• Add leeks, onions, and thyme sprigs. Cook until translucent, about 5 minutes.
• Remove thyme sprigs with tongs or a fork. Add tomato puree, diced tomatoes, chicken broth, 2 tsp salt, and about 8 grinds of pepper. Lower heat to medium low and simmer about 15-20 minutes.
• Add roasted tomatoes and simmer another 10 minutes.
• Use a hand blender or food processor to puree the soup, in batches. Be careful as it will be very hot. (I prefer it to remain a bit chunky but if you like it very smooth then strain through a chinois or fine strainer.)
• Add balsamic vinegar and stir in. Serve hot or cold.

It is cold, wet, gray, and GLOOMY today, for like the 5th day in a row. And let me say, I am so over it! So when I was asked to bring a dessert to a dinner party, I thought, to hell with it all. I'm going to look this hailstorm in the face and get all tropical up in here. For you see, underneath that layer of cream lurks a rich coconut custard flecked with lime zest, topped with a layer of thinly sliced fresh bananas.



Now I love huddling around the Christmas tree on those wintry days as much as the next guy, but just for one day this December I wanted to send fruitcake, pumpkins, Christmas cookies, and mulling spices packing so I could take my tastebuds where my heart wants to be: back in the tropics. The combination of lime, coconut, and bananas in a buttery tart crust does the trick. One bite will have the Caribbean calling!

A note about the ingredients: this recipe calls for cream of coconut. You can find it in the liquor/mixers section of the grocery store (although it's non-alcoholic) under the brand name Coco Lopez, La Preferida, Pepe Lopez, or Coco Real. It's the stuff you put in piña coladas and it's not the same as coconut milk- it's like a mixture of coconut milk and sugar. Admittedly it's kind of a weird product but it works really well for this recipe, and this is my favorite coconut custard.


Banana Coconut Cream Tart

Ingredients:

for the crust:

• 3/4 cup butter, cold and cut into chunks
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 Tblsp brown sugar
• 1 pinch salt
• 1 egg yolk
• about 1/3 cup cold water
  

for the filling/topping:

• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 1/2 cup sugar
• pinch salt
• 2 cups milk
• 3/4 cup cream of coconut
• 3 egg yolks
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 Tblsp butter
• 1 cup toasted coconut
• zest of 1/2 lime
• 2 ripe bananas
• 1 cup whipping cream (can use more if desired)

Method:

• Make the crust: pulse the butter and dry ingredients in the food processor until the butter is about the size of lentils. Add the yolk and pulse a few times. Add water 2 Tblsp at a time, and pulse after each addition, until dough just comes together. Remove dough from food processor and gently shape into a disc.
• Roll out crust on a lightly floured surface and place in tart pan. (I used a tart pan with a removable bottom but you can just make it in a pie plate if you don't have one.) Prick with a fork and put in the freezer for at least 30 minutes.
• Preheat oven to 350 and cook crust for about 15-20 minutes, until lightly browned. (If you're a perfectionist and can't handle any degree of slumping: put parchment paper in, then weigh it down with beans or something else. Bake about 15 minutes, then remove paper/beans and continue baking until lightly browned.)
• Meanwhile, make the filling: In a saucepan, combine sugar, cornstarch, salt, milk, and cream of coconut with a whisk. Heat over medium heat, whisking often, until thickened (about the consistency of loose yogurt.)
• Whisk yolks in a small bowl. Add a small amount of the hot coconut mixture and whisk quickly to temper the eggs. Add a little more and whisk again. Now add back the eggs into the hot mixture. Continue to whisk over medium heat until thick (consistency of warm pudding.) Remove from heat.
• Stir in vanilla and butter. Strain through fine strainer.
• Stir in lime zest and toasted coconut. Cool in ice bath (or just out, if your house is cold like mine!) stirring often. When it's cooled down a bit, cover with plastic wrap touching the custard and put in the fridge to finish cooling.
• When ready to assemble: whip the cream to stiff peaks with about 2 tsp. sugar and a dash of vanilla. Slice the bananas into thin coins. Spread custard in the crust and top with banana slices. Pipe or spread whipped cream on top. Sprinkle a bit of toasted coconut or lime zest on top to garnish.
• To make ahead: you can make this a couple hours ahead and leave it in the fridge or in a cold room of the house. If you make it too far ahead, it will get soggy. You can also make the custard and crust the day before and store them separately. Store the baked crust at room temp, wrapped in plastic. Store the custard in the fridge with plastic touching the surface of the custard. Before serving, give the custard a quick stir before spreading into tart crust. Whip the cream, slice the bananas, and assemble as directed above.

I've been having quite a few challenges vis-a-vis blogging of late. First I was traveling- not so much a challenge, although there was lots of time away, then jetlag to contend with. After that I became sick and have been in and out of bed (and consciousness) for about a week. I hate being sick because it is such a waste of time, so I don't take to the bed unless it's pretty severe. Because of this I learned I may have to go on a strict elimination diet for 3 months, in which as far as I can tell I can basically eat like 3 things, none of them exciting- which kind of puts a damper on the whole food blogging thing.Through it all I also lost not my camera's battery charger so I haven't been able to download photos from the past month or so, since the battery is dead. I await the Amazon delivery daily.

To sum up, ugh.

But here's a silver lining. While traveling just recently in Bali, I learned a yummy and easy trick that's been bringing me some modicum of solace. When they serve you a cup of tea, they often give you a few slices of peeled fresh ginger on the side. If you wish, you can put the ginger in the tea to add an extra kick to your infusion. At home, I've been using some cheap, "over the counter" tea that I bought in a Balinese convenience store for a couple bucks, but it's essentially just a mild black tea. It would work with any type of tea. It's delicious, and perfect after a meal- as ginger is known to settle the stomach. Try it!



You might notice I'm using a sarong as a tablecloth... only cost about 2 dollars. I like my tea a little sweet so I usually do a quick squirt of agave nectar or honey in the tea as well.

Once me and my camera are up and at 'em, I can share the things I have lined up and waiting for photos!

Instead of sticking around for turkey and stuffing, this year I'm heading Hong Kong and Bali for a vacation. You know the drill, I go away, I say I won't blog while I'm on vacation, but sometimes posts appear anyway. I might work some out on the plane, but in all fairness we don't know the movie situation on the flight so there could be some competition for my attention. With 14 consecutive hours in the air it's looking good though!

Anyway, I'll catch you on the flip side (which in this case means early December.) Hopefully I'll find some interesting things to eat and share over there. I mean, we know the first part is true, it's the sharing that sometimes stymies me.

Since I'm going to a place that's largely dairy-free, I will offer you a parting gift which is: a whole room covered in cheese. (Sure it seems delicious now, but you know after awhile it would start to get stinky....)


It's an art installation by Cosimo Cavallaro. He does lots of weird stuff combining food and art, some better than others.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The other night we had dinner with friends and they brought out 2 flavors of ice cream which were billed as their favorite combination. Much to my surprise, the combo was: Mexican Chocolate and Pumpkin. My first reaction was skepticism, but my first bite was DELICIOUS. I was inspired by my experience with that most excellent and satisfying mix of dark chocolate, cinnamon, and pumpkin, so the next night I invented this cheesecake combining those flavors. Not to brag, but... it was SMASHING.



A lot of cheesecake recipes (including one of my very own!) ask you to cook a cheesecake in a water bath. That is what I refer to as "a royal pain in the a$$." If you don't use the water bath, what will happen? The top of the cheesecake might crack! In fact, it probably will. But big frickin' deal. Last time I used a water bath it leaked and the crust got wet. I would rather be lazy and have cracks than do extra work and end up with a wet crust. But if you *heart* water baths and simply must have a non-cracky top, then wrap your springform pan in a couple layers of heavy duty foil, put it into a pan with hot water, and cook it at 350. It should take about the same amount of time. If it gets wet or cracks anyway I'm not taking responsibility.

I served this with a choice of whipped cream or ice cream and I think if you wanted to be fancy you could work in some kind of warm dark chocolate sauce to serve with it. I considered coating the whole thing in a dark chocolate ganache, but I thought it might overwhelm it. I still think that. But a few swirls of fudgy sauce on the side sure couldn't hurt.


Pumpkin Cheesecake with Dark Chocolate Cinnamon Crust

Ingredients:

• 8 oz. cinnamon graham crackers
• 1/3 cup butter
• 3 Tblsp cocoa powder
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup creme fraiche
• 1/2 cup mascarpone
• 1/2 cup + 2 Tblsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• pinch ground ginger
• 1 cup solid pack pumpkin
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract

Method:

• Preheat oven to 350.
• Crush the graham crackers into crumbs (I used a food processor.)
• Melt the butter and stir in the cocoa powder. Add the butter mix to the crumbs and combine.
• Press crumb mixture into a 9-inch springform pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and lower oven temp to 300.
• Meanwhile, beat the cream cheese, creme fraiche, mascarpone, and sugar in a mixer until smooth.
• Add spices and pumpkin mix and beat to combine.
• Add eggs and vanilla and beat to combine.
• Pour on top of crust. Bake at 300 degrees for about 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes. Cheesecake should be set but still a bit wobbly when you shake it.
• Remove and cool on the counter for about 15 minutes. Put in fridge for at least 2 hours to finish chilling and setting.

 

A few weeks ago my sisters and my mom and I went to Boston to stay with our very close family friends Abha and Mriganka. Abha is an incredible cook who seems to effortlessly throw together fabulous Indian meals in an instant, so we asked her to share some of her secrets. This is the first of a couple different recipes she made with us.



She found it all rather hilarious that we were trying to write down "amounts" and "ingredients" so we could recreate this in the future- and as so many instinctively great cooks do, she insisted that it was no big deal, everything is easy, just a little of this and a little of that and it's all done. Of course, if you look at this ingredient list it looks rather extensive, but she assures us that you can leave out or substitute any number of these spices and still yield a tasty result. In the meantime I'd like to say that I'm going to hew as closely to the painstakingly transcribed recipe as possible in the future, as the version we made together was fabulous- and once you've slogged through the spices, actually pretty quick and easy to make. But truth be told I have already made this again and I'd say I left out around 3 things at least, with much the same result.

Something about the marinade makes the chicken really tender and moist, so even if you get a crispy browned outside, the inside comes out perfect. She made a more complicated yogurt recipe to serve on the side, which I'll share in a future post- but I have included an easy little trick of my own which gets you a yummy yogurt sauce with essentially no additional effort.


Abha's Marinated Indian Chicken

Ingredients:

• 2 onions
• 1-in piece ginger
• 3-4 garlic cloves
• olive oil
• ½ tsp of cinnamon
• Large pinch of nutmeg
• ½ tsp of cayenne
• Small pinch of mace (optional)
• 1½ tbsp whole cumin seeds
• 5 whole cardamom pods
• 15 peppercorns
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp fennel seeds
• 2 tbsp red wine or red wine vinegar (optional)
• 2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breast tenders
• 1 pint thick plain yogurt (I used 2% Fage)
  
• 2-3 lemons
  

Method:

• Puree 1 onion, garlic, ginger, and 1 "glug" of olive oil together in blender or food processor until finely chopped.
• Add all spices and seasonings (everything except vinegar) and 2 more "glugs" oil and puree again.
• Put about 2-3 Tblsp of the marinade, juice of 1/2 lemon, and about 1/2 tsp of salt in the yogurt. Stir and set aside in fridge until serving time.
  
• Add vinegar to remaining marinade and coat chicken with it. Put it in a bowl. Leave in the fridge for anywhere between 1 and 24 hours.
• Put foil on a broiler pan and drizzle with olive oil. Arrange marinated chicken on foil and drizzle more oil on top.
• Broil on high heat about 8 minutes on one side, then flip and cook another 5 minutes or so until cooked through.
• Serve with lemon wedges and thinly sliced red onion, and the yogurt sauce on the side.
  
• If you have a BBQ you can make this on the BBQ if you prefer.

This is an easy and comforting dish for a wintry night. Serve it with crusty bread, and if you must have green things, a salad of some sort. If you like it spicy either use hot Italian sausage or add red pepper flakes with the tomatoes!




Sausage and Sundried Tomato Pasta
serves 2

Ingredients:

• about 1/3 cup sundried tomatoes (dry, not in oil)
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1 raw sweet Italian sausage, casing removed, or 1/4 lb. ground Italian sausage meat
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1/4 cup white wine
• about 1 Tblsp chopped parsley
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• salt and pepper
• 8 oz cooked pasta (I used bowties)

Method:

• Put the sundried tomatoes and the chicken broth in a bowl together and soak for 30 minutes to an hour.
• Heat a saute pan on medium-high heat and add sausage meat. Break it up with a wooden spoon or heat-proof spatula.
• When sausage is cooked but not browned, add onions. Cook until sausage is browned and onions are translucent, about 4-5 minutes.
• Add wine and cook about 2 minutes.
• Add tomatoes and broth, and half of the parsley. Cook about 7-10 minutes until there's hardly any liquid left.
• Add cream and bring to a boil. Cook about 2 minutes, until sauce is thick and glossy. Season with about 1 tsp of salt and a few grinds of pepper.
• Toss with cooked pasta and garnish with parsley.

 

Sure it's great about Obama and all, but did you know Bacon beat Fries in Colorado?



From Colorado's 9News:

"On Tuesday, among the many state races, Matt Fries (R) went up against Bob Bacon (D) for Colorado's 14^th Senate District. As was the trend across the country, voters chose the Democrat from Fort Collins, electing Bacon over Fries, 63 percent to 37... In all fairness, Fries name is pronounced like freeze."

Heh.

Friends, I have been negligent about this blog of late. My GOD, so negligent. It sickens me to think that I left a Zima post up, lo all these days, with nothing further to offer interest or entertainment.

But admittedly it's been a busy time and because of that I have a preponderance of interesting things I could share with you and now, finally, hopefully the time to do so. I went to Boston and learned how to cook Indian food. I went to Chicago and took a food tour and ate at Alinea. I went to Reno for Obama so now I can tell you with certitude, say, why you should opt for drinks at the fabulously tacky every-surface-must-have-mirrors-and/or-neon vs. the Mirage-lite Atlantis.  I made my own Rickroll costume for Halloween and nobody got it. And so forth. Today I'm even planning to do something overly difficult in the kitchen because now that the election is over I literally don't know what to do with myself half the time.

So that's my story. In the meantime, while I'm getting it all together, I offer you: a table made out of knives, forks, and spoons (via Geekologie.) Just because.

Oh really?

I guess the 1990s are officially over.

I'm in Chicago right now (in fact, I'll be eating at Alinea tonight- oh yeah baby!) but I wanted to share pictures of the cookies that Rodney, Heather and I made for our No on Prop 8 fundraiser last week. To support the donors with sugary goodness, we decorated wedding cake cookies with representations of not just the more ubiquitous rainbow gay pride flag but also the leather pride flag and the bear pride flag.



If you don't live in CA you might not know about Prop 8. If it passes the California Constitution will eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. In our state, same-sex couples can currently get married LEGALLY, so Prop 8 would actually take rights away from people- rights that they already have. Since I don't think it's cool for the Constitution to include stuff about discrimination and make people separate-but-equal, we had a No on 8 fundraiser to try and raise some dough to defeat this bill. We made a LOT of cookies!



By the end of decorating day, we were getting a little punchy, which is how you get mildly inappropriate cookies like "Prop 8 = {poo}" and ones that faced the challenges of trying to fit overly long words on a cookie.



Rodney made the cookies, and they were absolutely frickin' delicious, so I'll get the recipe from him and update! Heather and I just helped frost. We had leftovers so we dropped some off for the volunteers at the No on Prop 8 SF headquarters, and brought some to nourish the volunteers at Stop AIDS who were working on a fundraiser of their own.

We raised almost $3K and recruited 13 new volunteers. Yay for cookies! No on Prop 8!

I was bizarrely having a spaghetti and meatballs craving, which is probably, oh, the first time EVER that I have had one (and no, I am not secretly pregnant.) So without further ado, I present an extremely satisfying down-home meal that will compel your guests to ask if you learned all your secrets from a fabled Italian nonna. Although to be fair, it helps if you ply your guests with a couple bottles of wine and maybe a few shots of tequila before sitting down for dinner. I'm just sayin'.



I used my new favorite thing, quinoa spaghetti from Whole Foods. It tastes almost exactly like regular spaghetti but imparts the nutritiousness of my favorite pseudocereal. One more note: the recipe combines many meats (3 to be exact) but you could just use all beef if you like.


Spaghetti and Meatballs
This will serve 4-6 easily.

Ingredients:

for the meatballs:

• 1/3 cup milk
• 2 slices bread (any kind) crust removed, torn into pieces
• 1 Tblsp olive oil
  
• 1 small onion, chopped finely
• 1 garlic clove, chopped
• 1 Tblsp roughly chopped Italian parsley leaves
• 1 pound ground beef
• 1/2 pound ground pork
• 1/2 pound ground veal
• 1 egg
  
• 1/4 cup parmigiano-reggiano
• salt and pepper
• vegetable oil
  

for the sauce:

• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 1 large onion, chopped finely
• 4 garlic cloves, chopped
• 2 20 ounce cans whole peeled tomatoes (preferably San Marzano)
• salt and pepper

Method:

Make the sauce:

• Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook a couple minutes, until soft and opaque.
• Using your hands, pull the tomatoes out of the liquid in the can and crush them up with your hands a bit before adding them to the pot. Add about a cup of the liquid from the tomato can. Season with salt and pepper and cook at a simmer for about 20 minutes, at which point the sauce should get thicker.
• Reduce heat to lowest possible setting and cook another 20-30 minutes. Taste sauce and add more salt and pepper if necessary. If desired, add in some chopped fresh basil or oregano at the end and stir in.

While sauce is cooking, make the meatballs:

• Put milk in a large bowl and add torn bread pieces to soak. Set aside.
  
• Heat olive oil in a large saute pan over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and parsley and cook until soft and opaque, about 8-10 minutes.
• Add onion mixture and all meats into the large bowl with the bread and milk, along with the egg, parmigiano, and some salt and pepper, and mix with your hands until mixed together. (Reserve the onion pan for cooking the meatballs.)
  
• Preheat the oven to 350. 
• Heat about 1/4 inch of vegetable oil in the onion pan over medium high heat. Form meatballs that are between the size of a baseball and a golf ball. Brown them on all sides, about 15 minutes total.
  
• Put about 1/4 of the sauce in a 9x13 pan. Add meatballs. Put another 1/4 of the sauce over the meatballs. Put into the oven and cook for about 15-30 minutes, until they are cooked through.
• Meanwhile, cook your noodles as directed.
• When the meatballs are done, mix the drained noodles with the remaining 1/2 of the sauce. Spoon the meatballs on top of the noodles and sprinkle with extra parmigiano if desired.
  
  

I'm back into my whole "no white food" thing, and I picked up some luscious last-of-the-season peaches at the market so I could whip up a dessert for a dinner party. I went for a simple, rustic peach crisp and used agave nectar and oat flour so I would be able to eat it guilt-free!



Of course, the guests got ice cream on theirs, but my ice cream-less version was tasty enough to stand on its own. I made them earlier in the day and heated them in a 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes before serving so they would be warm and wonderful. You could make them in a 9x9 pan, but I made them in ramekins to impress my guests! I love how they bubbled over and looked so homey and scrumptious.


Peach Crisp with Agave and Oats
makes 8-10 ramekins or 1 9x9 square pan

Ingredients:

for the filling:

• about 3 lbs. ripe peaches, peeled and chopped
• 1/4 cup agave nectar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 T cornstarch
• juice of 1 lime
• zest of 1/2 lime

for the topping:

• 1 cup oat flour
• 1/4 cup oats
• 1 large pinch salt
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/3 cup ground pecans (I ground them in my coffee grinder)
• 1/2 cup butter, cut in chunks
  
• 1/4 cup agave nectar
• 1/2 cup milk

Method:

• Preheat oven to 350.
• Combine all filling ingredients in a bowl and set aside.
• Using a food processor or pastry blender, cut butter into dry ingredients until mixture resembles peas or lentils. Stir in agave and milk until combined.
• Put fruit in dish or ramekins and press down with the back of a spoon or spatula. Pour filling over and press down.
• Put ramekins or dish on a sheet pan covered with parchment or foil (because the dishes will spill over when cooking) and put in the oven. Cook about 30-40 minutes until topping is cooked all the way through.
• Serve warm with ice cream or whipped cream.

This past weekend my friends (who are both named Robert and who previously taught me how to make this delicious Mac N Cheese) had the most beautiful wedding! I rather ambitiously ended up offering to do the flowers AND make the cake. YIKES. But I played it smart and did some excellent outsourcing. To wit, the cake: I enlisted my friend Rodney, who's the pastry chef of the uber-delicious Delessio. We were given a picture of a cake and tried to faithfully recreate it. It was definitely a team effort, and we ended up with this:



So it's not perfect, but let's remember: it was free. Ha!

The flowers were a different story. There were some, uh, challenges. So. Moving on. Let's just look at the final results- roses for the nosegays, and hydrangeas in matte brown Ikea pots for the tables.

 

The wedding was at the Arboretum in San Francisco followed by a fabulous dinner at Indigo. All in all a magical night! But... I definitely won't be volunteering for this type of activity in the near future!

I have been wickedly busy lately with work things and personal things. The latest project? This week we hosted an Obama fundraiser and made nearly $8,000 for our man O! Helping in the fight? These blue swing state cookies (because we want to see blue swing states on election night!)



I used my family Christmas cookie recipe with nearly a whole container of Wilton's royal blue paste food coloring in the dough. I mixed the food coloring in the first step with the butter and sugar to fully incorporate it. I iced them with their state abbreviation and number of electoral votes. I bought the cookie cutters from Off the Beaten Path, where you can purchase a cutter for each of the 50 states individually for less than $2. (You can buy loads of other cool cutters there too- I have my eye on the candy corn cutter for Halloween.)



What's next? Well, today I'm making a 3-tier wedding cake, 37 flower arrangements, 8 boutonneires, 2 nosegays, and a corsage for a friend's wedding tomorrow. As soon as I've recovered I'll be sure to share the details.

Hey guys- my Sky High Rainbow Cake made it on the Craft: blog! I'm excited because it's one of my all-time favorite blogs.



As a thank you to them I'm going to share some of my favorite recent Craft: entries:
How to carve a melon into a flower
Halloween eyeball caprese
How to make candy cane sugar scrub

UPDATE: Also got picked up by CraftyCrafty.

See this beautiful and intricate floor pattern? That ain't tile- this is all made of deli meat!



These are the handiwork of artist Wim DeIvoye. Check out more patterns on his website (click on "marble floors.")

My paternal grandfather had a couple of specialty dishes and one was to make schnitzel. His family hailed from Germany and he had learned this from his mother. I hadn't eaten it for years, but now that I've become reacquainted with it, I won't make that mistake any longer! It's easy to make and you can often cobble it together with things you already have in the house.



My mom said that with veal this is called wiener schnitzel but with pork my Grandpa called it jaeger schnitzel. I got to thinking that if jaeger means pork then Jaegermeister means pork master and that seems odd. So I looked it up and my Gramps was wrong. Jaeger means hunter so jaeger schnitzel is this recipe made with hunted meat, usually venison. Etymological mystery solved! Too bad, though, because it's more fun to say jaeger schnitzel.

I was with my mom and my aunts and we were all cooking together, and we noticed that this is a lot faster and easier to make with 2 sets of hands- one person to do the breading and get their hands messy, and one to do the frying. There is no official recipe for this so I've explained the technique but not given specific amounts. In addition to pork, you could use chicken or veal cutlets. We used panko because it's pre-crumbed, but my grandpa used crushed Ritz crackers, which add a buttery sweetness. You can use any kind of bread or cracker crumbs.


Pork Schnitzel

Ingredients:

• pork cutlets or tenderloin sliced thinly
• bread crumbs, panko, or cracker crumbs
• flour
• eggs
• salt and pepper
• butter-flavored crisco and butter (or oil and butter) for frying
• lemon wedges for serving

Method:

• Using a mallet, pound pork until very thin.
• Prepare three dishes, one with flour and salt and pepper, one with a couple beaten eggs mixed with a splash of water, and one with the crumbs.
• Heat a large skillet over medium high heat with about 2 teaspoons each of butter and crisco (or oil.)
• Dip pork in flour, then eggs, then crumbs and place in hot pan. Cook each side until golden brown and remove to platter. Serve with lemon wedges.
• Note: You will need to add more fat with each round or every other round. If you make a lot, at some point if there are too many burnt crumbs in the pan you should clean the pan out with a paper towel and start with fresh grease.

Turns out it's "Twinkie Week" here on the ol' meathook. Saw this on Serious Eats and couldn't resist sharing this oddity:

"Stick halved Twinkies in a Bundt cake pan full of chocolate cake batter and you end up with a Twinkie Tunnel Bundt Cake (from The Twinkies Cookbook) where every slice of cake has a Twinkie center. Unfortunately, the creaminess is lost during baking, but "the bottom of the cake does have an interesting brulée quality to it, where the cream filling escapes and crystallizes.""

Who makes this s*** up? I mean, who sits there and goes, "I should cut Twinkies in half lengthwise and embed them in my next bundt cake" and then does it? It would never have occurred to me. Although now I kind of want to try it, just to see what it's like.

Then again, let's be honest. It's probably pretty gross.