I'm totally engrossed (get it? enGROSSed) in this list of the 20 worst foods in America. It's like looking at a series of caloric car crashes. The winner (loser?) is this big ol' pile of cheese fries with ranch dressing from Outback Steakhouse, coming in at nearly 3,000 calories.



Now I'll admit I am a closet Outback lover, but I always order the exact same thing there and have actually never felt compelled to order this pile of greasy goodness- but do you find it reprehensible that I saw the picture and thought "yum, I should try that"!?!? Because it kind of looks like there are bacon bits next to it too, and you should know that the bacon bits at Outback are actually little tiny pieces of bacon not some weird bacon-like nibs from a jar.

Also, I want to know if they include the full amountage of ranch dressing in the calorie count, because it's rare to clean out the condiment container, and even a serial ranch-dipper like me (can't eat pepperoni pizza without it, yo) is wondering how much ranch you'd even need considering the large cheese and (possible) bacon bit quotient.

Moving on to the remainder of the list- you've got a good showing from Chili's, that gnarly $6 burger thing from Carl's Jr, an Uno's pizza, and a ginormous chocolate Jamba Juice concoction, natch- but what in tarnation is On The Border? I have never heard of it, yet it makes a pretty good showing on this list. So I looked it up, and for one thing they have disgustingly unappetizing pictures on their website that make a much better case for me NEVER eating there than any list ever could, and for another thing, they appear to be concentrated securely in the 'burbs. So it seems I am safe from this On The Border business for the time being. And, having read this list and seen the pictures, I am probably safe from it forEVER. Yech.

Read the full list at Men's Health.