I mean that metaphorically. What I'm saying is, I've tried basically every cheap white wine at Trader Joe's to see if there are any good ones that are really really cheap. And I found one that is actually a lot better than its $4.99 price tag would have you believe - Diogenes Sauvignon Blanc. It's light, crispy, and citrusy. Other pluses: it has an OK label that doesn't make it look super cheap, and it's something you've probably never heard of so you won't get that "oh wow, they have the cojones to serve Charles Shaw" look from people.

Here's how to recognize this hidden treasure...



Perfect if you're like me. That is, kind of poor, and always wishing there was more wine to be had.